It was a Tuesday morning and I was jolted awake when I rolled over at 5:00 A.M., glanced at my phone for a time check, and saw a picture of an unfamiliar man’s penis. It was loudly and proudly erect on my i-phone screen. In my groggy state I had to wonder what I had done in my sleep and possibly the night before. I surely didn’t ask for this sext, but I had to do a quick memory scan before I could be certain. After I fully awoke, I realized that the text came from Mr. (Virtually) Perfect (a man who had ditched me before our first date about two month prior). The text that was sent right before this was “are we still on for tonight?” His response two months later: a picture of his shlong and a nice, heartfelt message: “I can’t wait for you to get home. I’m ready.”
Now let’s back track a few months; I talked to a very charming, young man that I had met once again through the whole online dating scene. When we first started talking, I was immediately smitten because he really made me laugh; he had such a funny way about him which is hard to do over texting and emails, but he really had it down…… In addition, he is a business owner, seemed to have his life in order, and is definitely handsome. I thought- score- this might be the one.
Well, when we had plans to go out on a Sunday night to grab a drink. I texted him on Saturday night (a bit too late at night) and asked if we were still on for the next day. When I didn’t hear from him, I assumed it was because of my “too late text” from the night before. Time went on (about a month and a half) and I had completely forgotten about Mr (Virtually) Perfect until one fine morning when I woke up to a text of his, yes, penis.
At first I was offended. I thought it was a joke to the text that I had sent months prior. Then I realized this text was clearly not intended for me. My response this time: “you might want to be careful who you send picture of your wiener to.” In Mr (Virtually) Perfect’s witty way, he actually had me laughing about the situation in no time. He made a few jokes about it being an ice breaker; he suggested all relationships should start this way- with no secrets. In the end, he convinced me to meet him for a drink. What did I do? Agreed.
The date was actually awesome; we enjoyed ourselves quite a lot…. laughed for a sufficient time about the sext, talked for hours, and even kissed at the end of the night.
In the end, I didn’t hear from him again afterwards. I thought of a few reasons why not; They range from “he felt he owed me the kiss since I had already seen his goods” to “he must have found a girl who sexted him back instead of responding with a juvenile response like mine using the word ‘weiner’.”
One way or another, should I be surprised? Not in the slightest. After all, our “rekindled” connection started by him sending that message to someone else. Am I a hopeless romantic or what? Desperate? Understanding? Not sure, but I do have another note to self (and anyone out there listening)- don’t date men who send other girls pictures of their Johnson (on a Monday night, at that). I hope we all learned something here today; Don’t sext and date.
Til next time,